Spam Quiche

Every year, the Alaska State Fair hosts a competition for home cooks to create a delicious dish utilizing an ingredient that will make the average gourmand instantly grimace: Spam.  For the past several years, I've had a strong hankerin' to showcase my Alaskan cooking skills and participate in the prestigious contest.  Work schedules and other interferences made it impossible to get involved- until the 2011 Fair, that is.

Each competition has a different theme.  This year's was breakfast.  Various ideas floated through my mind: Spam gravy and biscuits?  Eggs Benedict with Spam instead of Canadian bacon?  Breakfast skillet or breakfast burrito: too easy and simple.  Wait, what about quiche?  Hmm, that just might work!  Since judging points were given to the recipe's title, I un-Frenched it a bit and christened the creation "Ultimate Spam Breakfast Pie".  Full disclosure: I didn't want the classic stigma of the word 'quiche' to deter potential male judges.

I tried a completely new-to-me technique in preparing the quiche, which was a huge risk since I wouldn't have the chance to taste my recipe before it was submitted to the judges.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I had never made anything similar to this type of quiche before, so all recipe development was a one-time shot.  I held my breath as one of the competition's coordinators gingerly cut and removed a slice- and it held together beautifully, with the cheese, Spam, and specks of parsley creating a gorgeous array of visual texture.

Ultimately, I didn't win- but a sample slice of my entry was the only entry I saw the celebrity judge eat every single bite of!  It must have made some kind of impression, because mine was one of only two non-winning dishes mentioned in a feature newspaper article.

The other dishes were stunning.  If you want to broaden your culinary view- and completely change your mind about Spam products- attend a state fair competition. Most of all, try the dishes that sound the strangest.  The highlight of my entire visit to the carnival was sampling one of my competitor's entries: Spam inserted into a Twinkie on a stick, then battered and deep-fried, and daintily peppered with powdered sugar.  Unhealthy as all-get-out, but surprisingly and utterly delicious.

ZESTY ZAFTIG'S AUTHENTIC ALASKAN SPAM QUICHE  

This year's "celebrity judge"
Jackie Purcell, the chief
metereologist for the
Anchorage NBC
news affiliate.

Recipe yield: 6 servings
Can be served warm or at room temperature.

- ½ cup sweet onion (Vidalia or Walla Walla), chopped       

- ½ cup (heaping) fresh crimini mushroom caps, chopped

- 1 can Original SPAM, coarsely chopped

- ½ teaspoon garlic powder

- ½ teaspoon white pepper

- 5 medium eggs

- 1 cup light whipping cream

- 1 frozen pie shell

- 1 tablespoon dried parsley

- 1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese

- Tabasco sauce (optional)

Remove pie shell from freezer to defrost; remove eggs, cream, and cheese from refrigerator to bring to room temperature.  Preheat oven to 400°F.  Meanwhile, lightly sauté the onions, mushrooms,  garlic powder, and white pepper in a skillet over medium-heat until the vegetables take on some color, 7-10 minutes.  Turn the vegetable mixture onto a paper towel or paper plate to absorb excess grease.  In a second skillet, fry the chunks of SPAM over high heat until the meat becomes moderately seared, also 7-10 minutes.  In a large bowl, combine the eggs, cream, parsley, and Tabasco sauce (if using); whisk vigorously until the volume of the liquid has slightly increased.

When the pie shell is defrosted, place in preheated oven for 10 minutes.  Remove the pie shell from the oven and increase the oven temperature to 425°F.   Begin layering the pie:evenly lay the chunks of fried SPAM on the bottom of the pie shell, sprinkle ¼ cup of cheese evenly on top, then add all of the mushroom and onion in a single layer.  Add another layer of SPAM, then top with remaining cheese.  Pour in egg and cream mixture.  Place pie in oven.  After 1 0 minutes, reduce temperature to 375°.  Bake for 45 minutes.  Check for doneness by inserting a clean knife in the center (it should come out clean), or when the temperature in the middle of the pie has reached 170°F.

Food Photo: Greenling with Zucchini Crisps

Greenling (a type of whitefish) topped with basil-infused roasted tomatoes, feta cheese, and a caramelized onion-and-garlic mixture.  Paired with Parmesan zucchini crisps.


Although both items were not original Zaftig creations, my technique was slightly different from the base recipes despite retaining the same ingredient profile.  You can find the base recipe for the fish here, and the zucchini crisp info here.

Chicago Hot Dog

In the spring of 2009, we spent a fun-filled week in the city of Chicago.  One of the most unexpected experiences was at a nondescript lunch counter somewhere around the Roscoe Village neighborhood.  Our trio had just spent half an hour at Hot Doug's- more accurately, we spent thirty minutes in the line that was snaking around the venerable sausage establishment that cooks their french fries in duck fat.  Having moved less than a couple of yards during that time, we set off for the Loop in search of adventure.  Halfway there, our stomachs loudly shared their disgruntlement at being empty.  We happened to be in a semi-industrial area at that time.  To our surprise (and luck), there was a small eatery nestled amid the automotive repair shops and hardware emporiums.


The restaurant was tiny: a few circa-1980's booths lined the floor-to-ceiling windows in front, and a long counter with abused spinning stools separated the dining area from the small kitchen.  A faded menu offered what we'd determined were typical Illinois fare: burgers, hot dogs, gyros.  Still reeling from the letdown of not getting to sample Hot Doug's, I was still open to a dog-and-bun.  The female clerk- slightly smirking- asked if I wanted it "all the way, Chicago style?"  I agreed, not having a clue what I was getting myself into.


A few minutes later, deposited upon the counter in front of my salivating mouth and rumbling tummy, was the most exquisite preparation of an overly-processed, nitrite-filled meat product I've ever laid eyes on.  The soft bun (dusted with poppy seeds) was barely large enough to hold the sumptuous toppings: neon green relish, unrealistically fresh wedges of tomato, crunchy sweet onion, good ole' yellow mustard, exquisite dill pickle slices.  Somehow, it worked.  I mean, it worked really really well.


Two years later, I found myself a bit homesick for the Windy City.  A quick inventory of my pantry showed that I had the nearly all of the necessary ingredients to recreate the flavors of that little lunch counter.


Without any further fanfare, here's my cheap knock-off (albeit the bun is without poppy seeds, the relish is just normal 'sweet', and dietary restrictions means no sport peppers for yours truly).  The Hebrew National all-beef frankfurter was boiled, the bun lightly steamed, all condiments still chilled from the fridge.

Eggs Benedict, Alaskan Style

Few breakfast dishes are a textural trip for the palate like Eggs Benedict.  However, what if the home cook is craving a salty protein with flavors a bit more delicate than that of Canadian bacon?  The ethereal umami of the poached egg's creamy yolk caresses the soft, slightly sweet English muffin hiding beneath.  Meanwhile, the whole gamut is highlighted by the bright flavors of a classic Hollandaise, providing the perfect balance of acid and spice.  Why overwhelm such gastronomic beauty with a piece of one-dimensional pork?

The answer is replacing the ham product with cold-cured salmon.  Whether you call it "lox" or "gravlachs", the delicacy is surprisingly easy to make, and pairs beautifully with the poached egg-Hollaindaise combo.

For POACHED EGGS:
- Small saucepan with 3 inches of water
- 2 eggs
- 1 tablespoon of lemon juice
Yield: 2 poached eggs


Bring the water to a light simmer (do not allow to come to a heavy simmer or full boil).  Stir in lemon juice.  Using a very sharp knife, slice the very top off of a raw egg, making the hole large enough for the yolk to slide through intact.  Lower the eggshell very close to the water, and gently tip the top over to pour the egg into the simmering water, trying to keep the whites and yolk as intact as possible.  Gently simmer for 4 minutes and remove from water with a skimming spoon.






For ENGLISH MUFFINS:

• - 1/2 cup milk

- 1 tablespoon white sugar, divided
- 1 1/8 teaspoon dry yeast
- 1/2 cup warm water
- 2 tablespoons melted vegetable shortening
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 1/2 cups bread flour
 - 1/2 teaspoon salt
Yield: 6 muffins


Mix yeast, 1/2 tablespoon of sugar, and the warm water (~110°F).  Microwave milk until very warm (you can heat it on the stove, but it too easy to accidentally scald it that way); mix in remaining 1/2 tablespoon of sugar.  Melt shortening in microwave-safe bowl.  Layer flour and salt evenly in sifter (1/2 cup AP flour, then 1/2 cup bread flour, etc.); sift into large bowl.  Make well in sifted flour and add the liquid ingredients.  Mix and knead until thoroughly combined.  Place dough in greased bowl, cover with saran wrap, and store in warm place for 60-90 minutes.  When the dough has almost doubled in volume, lightly punch down, and turn onto surface dusted in cornmeal: take care not to handle or compress the dough more than you need to.  Using a rolling pin, gently roll the dough to 3/4" thickness.  Use a biscuit cutter or drinking glass to cut out the muffins.  Transfer to baking sheet dusted in cornmeal, cover with plastic wrap, and allow to rise in warm place for 45 minutes.  Pre-heat oven to  375°F.  Bake muffins for 6-8 minutes, flip each muffin, and return to oven for another 6-8 minutes, or until lightly browned.  To achieve the classic English muffin texture, lightly fry each side of the muffins on a lightly greased griddle (preferably cast-iron prior to serving.  






For LOX [GRAVLACHS]:
- 1/4 pound wild Alaskan sockeye [red] salmon, sliced to 1/4" thickness
- 1/2 tablespoon seasoned salt
- 1 tablespoon table salt
- 1 tablespoon white granulated sugar
- 1/2 teaspoon dried dill
- 1/2 teaspoon paprika
- 1 teaspoon black pepper
- 1 cheesecloth
- 2 cookie sheets
Yield: 1/4 pound of lox, approximately 4 servings


Combine all dry ingredients and thoroughly coat both sides of the salmon filet.  Keeping the filet flat, wrap tightly in cheesecloth.  Sandwich between flat cookie sheets, and place a few pounds of weight on top (cans of beans, pot of water, etc.)  Allow to cure in refrigerator for at least 24 hours (but no more than 72), flipping the filet over every 12 hours.  To serve, shave thin slices and serve cold.  






For HOLLANDAISE SAUCE:
- 1 tablespoon fresh-squeezed lemon juice
- 3 egg yolks
- 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
- Cayenne pepper (to taste)
- Salt (to taste)
- Double-boiler pan (or small saucepan and large bowl that fits over the pan, creating a seal)
Yield: 3/4 cup of sauce


Bring 1" of water to a simmer in the saucepan or double boiler.  Microwave the butter until just melted.  In the bowl (or double boiler top insert), thoroughly whisk together the lemon juice and egg yolks (an electric hand mixer with a whisk attachment makes this really easy and fast).  When the mixture has doubled in volume and thickened, transfer the bowl (or insert) to the pan of simmering water.  Continue whisking- if you stop, the heat from the steam in the pan could cook the egg yolk.  Pour a thin stream of butter into the bowl while whisking.  When all of the butter has been incorporated, add the cayenne and salt to taste.

White Bread

How does a formerly staunch non-baker develop their own take on classic white bread?  Same as any other recipe, be it cuisine or patisserie: good ole' trial and error!


First, my rant against bread machines.  They're the Sandra Lee of kitchen appliances- so much of the work is done for you, it takes the soul out of the food.  (That being said, the world would be a healthier place if everyone made their own bread, even if it's in a machine- have you seen the ingredients that go into your average store-bought loaf these days?)  Anyways, there's the issue of the bread itself.  I've yet to have bread baked in a machine taste as, well, "bready" as I prefer.  The texture always seems off, the crust seems a bit odd, the inside not as evenly cooked as bread baked in a real oven.  That being said, the devices are great for preparing all kinds of dough.  Is it hypocritical that I lambast the evils of the appliance, yet use it to mix and knead my dough?  Probably, but until I take a baking class or watch a high-def Youtube video to see how the gluten is properly produced with correct hand-kneading, I'll stick with my wicked little bread-maker.


So began the quest to conjure up the perfect recipe.  If I stumbled upon success, the household's Official Bread Connoisseur (also known as my husband) was, surprisingly, ready to give up a hardcore Orowheat "Country White Bread" habit that went back several years and consistently put a decent dent in our grocery budget at $5 per loaf.  After preparing a few recipes, I still hadn't found what I was looking for.  All of the loaves turned great- an accomplishment in itself considering I had no idea what I was doing- but none of the final products were as versatile as I'd preferred.  They were too sweet, or too dense, or way too fluffy.  I needed something that would do everything a slice by Country Oven or Orowheat could: make the perfect toast, grilled cheese sandwich, or redneck garlic bread.  


Cooks are human.  From the most inexperienced home foodist like myself, all the way up to the venerable Julia Child, the learning process to producing a sublime souffle is the same as, say, grappling with calculus.  Sometimes you absorb just enough to fake your way through- but eventually, you really "get" it.  The light bulb flickers on, and there's no stopping you.  Thus is my experience with baking.  Countless times throughout the years, two proverbs took up residence in my pea-brain: "Cuisine cooks usually can't bake, and vice versa", and "Baking is a science; cuisine is an art".  The former eclipsed the latter for far too long, until the day that we needed bread.  There, bore in the moment of necessity, I finally "got" it.  I'm good at understanding the principles of science (specifically that of chemistry), so what in the name of all things yeasty was stopping me from making my own version of the best mother-lovin' white bread?!


I let my inner mad scientist go to town.  Borrow a bit from that recipe, try this technique that doesn't make sense but worked for previous loaves, try not to stare at the oven as the magic happened.  What resulted is, in my mind, the perfect loaf of homemade white bread.


ZESTY ZAFTIG'S WHITE BREAD
Yield: 1 loaf


- 1 1/2 cups unbleached bread flour
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (plus 2-3 tablespoons)
- 1 tsp non-iodized salt
- 1 1/2 tablespoons lard, melted
- 1 1/2 tablespoons baker's sugar (info here)
- 1/2 cup warm water (around 100°F)
- 3/4 cup milk, hot


Pre-heat oven to 170°F for five minutes, then shut off.  Meanwhile, mix half of the sugar (3/4 tablespoon) in the warm water; stir in yeast to allow it to proof.  In a bowl or bread machine, sift together both types of flour, salt, and remaining sugar (3/4 tablespoon).  Melt the lard and heat the milk.  When the yeast is foamy, make a well in the center of the dry ingredients.  Drizzle the lard and milk around the well.  With the bread machine on  (and the paddle mixing the ingredients), or while hand-mixing with a spatula, stir in the water/yeast mixture.  Continue combining; knead (by hand or machine) until smooth and elastic.  If the dough is too sticky, add 1 tablespoon of flour at at a time until the dough is smooth.
Transfer the dough to a greased bowl.  Loosely cover with greased plastic wrap and place in warm oven.  Allow to rise one hour, or until doubled in volume.  Punch dough down to deflate; cover again and allow to rise 30-45 minutes or until doubled.  Remove from oven and carefully transfer to greased 9"x5" loaf pan, taking care to not deflate; once again loosely cover with the plastic wrap and allow to rise 10-20 minutes, or until the dough has risen to slightly above the top lip of the pan.  Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 425°F.  When the oven is heated, insert the loaf pan, and immediately reduce oven temperature to 375°F.  Bake for 30 minutes, or until the loaf is golden brown and sounds slightly hollow when the top if lightly tapped.  Remove from oven, gently remove from loaf pan, and allow to cool on a wire rack.